Wednesday, April 04, 2007

The Lies We Tell Young People

This decal that I saw on a Myspace page capsulates perfectly the mindset that many young girls have about dating and the opposite sex. Unfortunately, this seems to fit perfectly with what guys are wanting: attention (laughing at their jokes) and sex. It also seems to meet the wants (needs?) of the girls: attention (checking out their slutty clothes) and to be cherished (sex). I would suggest, though, that each thing that both the guy and the girl think they are getting in this scenario are cheap imitations of what they are actually seeking. They are pseudo-fulfillment of the deep needs that God put inside each man and each woman.

For the man, it is the need to be honored and respected by his wife. He has an innate sense that he wants to make her proud and represent her well. In addition, he has a strong sex drive, a desire for the most intimate connection with a woman; a connection and an intimacy that is partnered with the safety of commitment and the security of "until death do us part."

For the woman, it is the desire to be loved and cherished by a man. The desire to be special in his sight and catch his eye, and to captivate him with her beauty. In addition, the woman is cherished in the intimacy of sex, a sex that operates within the confines of love; love that "always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

This cartoon above is apparently the best that secular culture has to offer our young people. In a culture of moral relativism where feelings become the new determiner of truth, instant gratification becomes king. The fastest, easiest avenue to get what you want becomes the road they take. It results in a hollow fulfillment, emptiness, and disappointment, not to mention the more concrete results like STD's, divorce, single moms, and abandonment. Children in single parent homes are more likely to repeat this behavior, so the process is continued.

So, what is needed? Fathers, who will cherish their daughters and teach them the way a man should treat them, and who teach their sons the way men should act. Mothers who will love their children, not by spoiling them, but by instilling in them the values that make a whole person. Boys, who will stop viewing girls as objects and delay gratification for a better end, and who will think, even why society is telling them they should be idiots. Girls, who will see that they have value and worth and beauty, who will set their standards high and not sell themselves short to get attention. But most of all, I think what is needed is the Church, the local body of believers who will step up and change culture one young person at a time.

May we counter the message that is being sent to the young people of this age.


Joel Maners said...

Thanks for the post. I am reminded of Jesus' words in Matthew 20:25-28. There Jesus basically says that using the power that you have to get what you want is the way the world works, plain and simple. Girls of a certain age quickly realize that they have power over adolecent boys. After all, "If you aren't attracted to my mind and my spirit, you'll certainly pay attention when I wear a low cut dress and your hormones go to work!" Boys also have a certain power of their own. Both boys and girls quickly realize tht ethic of the world is to use whatever power you have to satisfy your desires. But it doesn't have to be that way according to Jesus. You don't have to b a self-serving person. You don't have to leverage your power. You don't have to make stones into bread.

Nick said...

Interesting. I've never thought of that verse in Matthew applying in a general sense to the power girls have over boys. Great thought.

Anonymous said...

I have two daughters, and I have nightmares about the type of social environment that they will come of age in. I watch 15 minutes of television, randomly switching channels, and women are generally portrayed as whores, sluts, sex objects. Even a trained, experienced female cop on a show like CSI is still portrayed with a primarily sexualized component. And forget about some of the reality trash on tv: America's Next Top Model might as well be called America's Next Top Sex Object.

However, despite my anxiety, I have ever expectation of raising my two girls into mature, self-confident, well-educated women. It is 100% parenting. Kids today must have parents active in their lives. Unfortunately, our nation's addiction to materialism means that many parents are working too hard to pay for their retail crap which they buy because we still, after 2000 years of Judeo-Christian civilization, equate money and material possessions with success and happiness.

Nick said...

Excellent point. If there is one thing we need, it is good parenting.

Anonymous said...

Yes, the root of this problem can be traced back to what the parents teach their childern for the most part(parents being the role modle). Society could would be mush more functional and well off with parents who have an attitude and eagerness to teach their kids like annonymous. :)